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Have you felt that your emotions direct you? Can't you regulate your emotional states? Maybe you get too upset in certain situations, or you freeze up. In both cases, it would be beneficial to acquire emotional regulation strategies, so that you do not inhibit your emotions or "explode." Sometimes, we automatically implement maladaptive strategies : Rumination: mentally reviewing the situation, in great detail, going into a loop. Avoidance: trying not to think about something important that generates conflict. Suppression: performing mental or behavioral rituals to "nullify" an emotional state. Instead, we can carry out adaptive strategies that allow us to adequately confront and regulate our emotions: Troubleshooting : Some situations will not change no matter how much we "think about it," and action will be necessary. Once certain decisions are made, actions are carried out that ultimately lead to a change in the emotional state. Acceptance : it is the alternative to avoidance, and does not refer to taking a position of resignation, but to the ability to tolerate discomfort. Cognitive reevaluation : consists of questioning how you think and contemplating new aspects and different perspectives that allow you to change the influence that an emotion has on you. If you change the way you think about a situation, the emotional impact it has on you will also change. There are more adaptive strategies that focus on breathing and exercise . However, its use should be assessed based on the clinical profile and a brief training session, since there is a risk of hyperventilation, muscle tension and increased anxiety and stress symptoms. If you were unaware of these regulation techniques and want to go deeper, or have tried to implement these or other techniques without having achieved the expected results, I encourage you to request a session to evaluate the case.

You may feel (or have felt) palpitations, sweating, difficulty breathing, but... is that anxiety or simply nerves, or is it that I am undergoing a period of stress? Anxiety is more related to an unresolved fear , which hyperactivates the Autonomous Nervous System (ANS), which is responsible for the body's fight/flight response to a threat. Therefore, thoughts of imminent danger, muscle tension, hypervigilance or a state of continuous alertness, worry about the future and even avoidant behaviors are commonly present. Fear is an emotion that provokes an adaptive response in the organism, making it hyperactive so that it survives in the face of danger, and is common to other animals. The problem is that other animals are afraid of specific, identifiable stimuli, and once the dangerous situation is resolved, their body regulates itself to return to a state of calm. On one hand, humans are very complex animals, with more abstract fears (fear of disappointing, fear of not being enough, fear of failure)... how am I going to see such a type of fear coming? And how do I fight or flee? In our case, we must attend to variables related to our reality and our expectations about life and the future. The objective in therapy is to modify the perception of threat and strengthen your ability to cope with the situation. On the other hand, experiencing a certain level of hyperarousal during periods of stress (work, family, etc.) makes sense, since it "activates" us to respond to an increase in demand from our environment. As long as this increase in performance does not exceed our resources (and does not last long), it will be adaptive. If you have experienced anxiety symptoms, or live with them, I encourage you to evaluate your case in consultation. Exposing yourself to the feared stimulus or situation will reduce your discomfort and we will reinforce your coping strategies so that you continue to cope with it in the future.

What can I do if it limits me more and more? How am I going to get over it if as soon as I get close the anxiety increases? The incubation of anxiety is a fundamental aspect in the maintenance of phobias. Did you know that our nervous system cannot sustain a high level of anxiety over time? Let's say that "he ends up getting tired" and finally that activation decreases. Therefore, the challenge is to overcome that time, from when it is activated until it "gets tired", progressively increasing our tolerance to discomfort. In this sense, avoidance is counterproductive (even if you feel that your system "rests" by being safe) since it prevents coping and reinforces an intense and immediate response the next time, because the brain interprets that it has been adaptive to flee since you have survived. In this case, we have not allowed the brain to discover that such a threat is not real. The most effective techniques in the therapeutic approach to specific phobias (fear of animals, objects or specific situations) are: Controlled and progressive exposure It is the technique par excellence with the greatest effectiveness. Depending on the degree of avoidance, various modalities can be applied, starting with an exposure in imagination, moving to an exposure to photos/videos, up to a "live" exposure. Diaphragmatic breathing and progressive muscle relaxation The objective is to reduce the hyperactivation of the Autonomous Nervous System (ANS) responsible for the fight/flight response to a threat. Systematic desensitization Combination of relaxation techniques with gradual exposure to the phobic stimulus. Identification and modification of Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANP) Point out and change the thoughts that are activated automatically and that reinforce the perception of threat, which increases fear and your bodily sensations. Operant modeling It consists of observing how another person (it could be the psychologist) interacts with the stimulus without suffering unpleasant consequences, meanwhile, you remain in that observer position without fleeing or avoiding, increasing tolerance to discomfort. Then, with help, you will make successive approaches to the stimulus, tolerating a certain level of anxiety. Addressing phobias is complex and requires intervention guided by a professional. If you have tried to face fear on your own without obtaining the expected results, or feel that the time has come to try a more focused treatment, do not hesitate to contact us.

If you have thoughts or "mental images" and perform some type of action in response to them, you probably experience constant tension and worry. OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) requires the presence of obsessions and compulsions, in which a lot of time is spent per day (more than 1 hour a day) with great discomfort or deterioration in several important areas of your life (family, friends, work/school /school). But... what are obsessions and compulsions? Obsessions are recurring thoughts, impulses or images, which appear in an intrusive and unwanted way, and which usually cause anxiety or significant discomfort. Therefore, attempts are made to ignore or neutralize them with some other, more pleasant thought or act (compulsion). Compulsions are behaviors (for example: tidying up, washing hands, checking that I have turned off the lights) or mental acts (for example: counting, repeating words or phrases, praying) that are activated in response to an obsession, with the objective of preventing or reducing discomfort, or preventing some feared event or situation from occurring. Are there different types of OCD? There are several themes in OCD: order (categorizing, counting, maintaining symmetry), cleanliness (avoiding contamination/dirt), forbidden or taboo thoughts (sexual or religious), harm (harming oneself or others). What does therapy for OCD consist of? On the one hand, intervention in OCD includes addressing dysfunctional beliefs about hyperresponsibility, the tendency to overestimate threats, perfectionism, intolerance of uncertainty, high need for control, and excessive importance given to thoughts ( for example, believing that having a forbidden thought is as bad as doing it). On the other hand, exposure with response prevention is also effective, that is, you expose yourself to those thoughts, preventing and avoiding carrying out the compulsion, with the aim of not reinforcing that association and experiencing that there are no negative consequences if I do not do that. ritual". If you have experienced these symptoms or live with them, do not hesitate to book a consultation to evaluate your case and guide you. Addressing OCD autonomously is complicated since the impulses are quite strong and it is difficult to "cut" the loop. I encourage you to see us in consultation to work on it together.

If you feel anxious when having conversations, group meals, celebrations or any type of meeting with people, you have probably tried to avoid these situations. This type of anxiety is activated in social situations in which you are exposed to the evaluation of other people, you feel observed and probably feel that you are judged . Therefore, you feel afraid and have many doubts about how to act, or about experiencing symptoms of anxiety and that other people will evaluate it negatively (that they reject you, that they embarrass you, or that they simply feel offended because it seems that you do not listen to them or are not interested in you). the conversation). With this in mind, it is logical that you have tried to avoid these situations , or stay in them for a short period of time. In addition to the impact that you may have experienced in your work, with your family and friends... which may have caused you to isolate yourself. But... why does this happen to me? and what can I do to make it go away? First of all, we will have to explore your life history and see when these symptoms appeared, and if we can relate it to specific events (you may or may not have already identified the origin). In any case, we will delve into that fear of being "analyzed" or "rejected", and the expectations about the fear of being judged as anxious, weak, unpleasant, etc. Assertive communication can also be trained, with the aim that you acquire tools to approach conversations, express yourself and listen actively, without a submissive attitude or a tendency to please for fear of rejection. In parallel, social skills can be trained to express disagreement or establish limits. There are more techniques for you to expose yourself, gradually and in the safe environment of therapy, to these social situations through " role playing ", that is, rehearsing specific situations as a "performance". In this way, you will face several possible situations, you will expand your repertoire of behaviors and thoughts, and you will feel more skillful. If you have identified yourself, do not hesitate to contact us to evaluate your case and guide you. The mere fact of going to therapy already involves exposure to one of these social situations, and it will be of great help if you allow yourself a safe "testing ground" that prepares you for day-to-day situations.

Since it is about personality, will it accompany me all my life or can I make any changes? What can I expect from psychological therapy? In psychology, when we talk about " obsessive personality " we refer to a dominant pattern of concern for order, perfectionism and control (with oneself and others), with difficulty in flexibility (high mental rigidity) and efficiency ( time is not used well or many resources are consumed to achieve an objective). Some manifestations are: Preoccupation with details, rules, lists or organization, to the point of not achieving the main objective, with great mental cost and conflict with people in the environment. Perfectionism that interferes with task completion. Excessive dedication to work or productivity , with a feeling of guilt if you do some type of leisure or spend time with friends. Inability to get rid of damaged or useless objects , even if they have no sentimental value (high control). Difficulty delegating tasks or collaborating with others , tendency to do it alone because "it will turn out better." but... when is personality formed? Personality development is a gradual and continuous process. In any case, we must attend to an onset in the first stages of adult life to ensure that this tendency represents a stable pattern of our "way of being", and not a temporary reaction that can be explained by evolutionary development. Can personality be modified? Personality is a stable tendency, it is the basis on which we give meaning to the world and our experiences. Therefore, our mind tends to maintain it despite the inconveniences, that is, it resists change because it involves questioning beliefs that have been deeply rooted for many years. However, modifications can be made and these resistances overcome with the help of a professional. So... what can I expect from psychological therapy? In therapy you can work on the personal meanings that you have been building throughout your life, delve deeper into your "mental order" and explore what function that high degree of control serves and whether there have been unpleasant consequences in which you have "let your guard down." Taking into account that the brain is very wise, it surely maintains that rigidity because it has been useful and protects you, you have learned that "this way of being" can even be very profitable (promotions at work, praise for how organized you are). you are, greater perception of autonomy by doing everything alone and not needing anyone). It is interesting to weigh the benefits and costs in your daily life. Perhaps this "way of being" prevents you from relaxing and enjoying important moments, exhausts you mentally or causes conflicts with your family, partner or friends that also affects your quality of life. If you have identified yourself, I encourage you to evaluate your case in consultation. Depending on the discomfort and interference it causes in your life, we will establish specific objectives.

If you feel that you need to always (or never) be with someone, you feel attracted to people in conflict or you perceive that there are aspects that are repeated in your relationships, you will be interested in delving deeper into attachment styles to discover which aspects are mobilized in you. when it comes to relating. Attachment is the way that people perceive and manage intimacy, and it not only applies to romantic relationships, it is also present in friendship and family relationships, and is the basis of: The way to react to conflicts. The expectations you have about couples and other relationships. Your attitude towards sexual relations. And... what attachment styles are there? Secure attachment is based on trust and security in yourself and the other person, understanding silences, spaces and absences as something "normal" that does not pose any threat, as well as closeness and intimacy. It consists of being safe and trusting that the bond you have is solid, which allows you and the other person to explore individually in parallel with your relationship (that is, each of you can make plans with your friends and not necessarily always go together to everything, or have different tastes or hobbies that demand time alone). On the other hand, insecure attachment , as its name indicates, is not secure with that bond, since defenses that were built on the basis of its first relationships are activated. If it is an anxious attachment , they constantly long for and seek intimacy, tend to become obsessed with their relationships and tend to doubt/distrust their partner's actions (jealousy) and interpret that the other person "does not love them." On the other hand, the avoidant attachment does not feel comfortable with closeness and intimacy, because it perceives it as a lack of independence and constantly strives to avoid closeness. How are these attachment styles related? There are all kinds of combinations. However, within unhealthy relationships, the anxious-avoidant combination is common. But... how can they maintain a relationship if they are so opposite? Well, precisely because each one feeds the other's insecurities. The anxious person focuses on checking where the other person is, if they answer their calls or WhatsApp, or if they are showing enough affection (because the avoidant person puts distance and the threat "he's going to leave me" is activated). The avoidant, on the other hand, puts more distance in the face of so much demand for attention, because he/she feels overwhelmed. Therefore, they enter a "vicious circle" in which no one feels their needs are met. So... if attachment is formed based on early experiences, can I change it? Of course! In fact, your attachment style may even change without you wanting to, due to experiences throughout your life. However, I recommend that you orient yourself in the direction of secure attachment, that you reevaluate what your relationships have been like and how you want them to be in the future. Would you consider making any changes? Psychological intervention with a focus on attachment yields very favorable results by making people aware of their reactions and modifying dysfunctional patterns.

What place does sex occupy in your relationships? Have you thought about what effect it has on your emotional regulation? What emotions are present before, during and after? Hypersexuality is a common cause of complaint in clinical practice, specifically due to the emotional discomfort that lies behind it. Sometimes, if we feel discomfort, with difficulty identifying and expressing emotions, we can perform sexual practices to channel it as an emotional regulation strategy . but... how can sex regulate emotions? Hypersexuality can be a strategy to escape, avoid or cope with dysphoric moods. The problem is that, in addition to providing some relief or reduction of discomfort (which lasts a very short time), feelings such as guilt and shame appear later. In this way, emotions and sexual behavior feed off each other, they enter a loop where sex becomes the only way (or at least the most immediate) to manage emotional discomfort. Therefore, emotional discomfort can be a cause and consequence of hypersexuality . And so, how is hypersexuality addressed in therapy? The therapeutic objective is to improve emotional identification and expression , acquire and reinforce coping strategies and emotional regulation . Your tolerance to discomfort will also increase, avoiding immediate behaviors that reduce it in the short term. What emotional state do you think a person must have to want to have a sexual relationship? and now think about what state of mind you have had in your previous sexual encounters. Was there emotional discomfort before, during or after? If the answer is yes, I encourage you to see us for a consultation so we can guide you and work together on your emotional well-being.